NFL the Male Soap Opera

Nfl is back!!!

What I love the most about football season is

It’s the only tile of year when men get emotional.

I’m not only talking about the players but the fans too!

Men tease us women about our mood swings

That it’s that time of the month….

Ha ha ha

Well ladies

It’s that time of the season.

In one game my husband

Gets excited,

Next thing you know…

He is as quiet as a mouse.

Then I swear I hear tears coming from the living room

If his team doesn’t win

He comes looking for another battle he can win.

At that point I just leave him alone.

Cause in another hour

Another game

And he is happy again.

During Football Season

All men are menstruating!


Mental Illness Is A Struggle

Wake up & Do Something.

Today the world lost a great comedian and actor….Robin Williams

How can us non celebrity persons hope to find happiness and overcome our illness if celebrities can’t fight it?

They have access to the best medical care around.

Something is seriously wrong with the psychiatric community and no one is saying it.

Why do schools still get shot up by people with a mental illness history?

Why are well known, famous celebrities killing themselves at age 63?

It all makes me wonder……

Can I survive or am I doomed to die too?

Lig & Live


Let It Go & Live

I would first like to apologize to my readers. I have been away getting my life together. A few months back I attempted suicide. For the past few months I have been in a psychiatric facility. I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Let it go and live is my journey of how I had to let a lot of things that went wrong in my life go so I could survive. I’m creating this blog in order to share my experiences and hopefully you will want to share yours. If you don’t learn to let go of wrong doings or attachments to people who are not right for you then you run the risk of ending your life.

Here is my story. I hope it helps 1 person. I’m not a psychiatrist or therapist but I believe that just writing these personal details of my life will help me to keep leering things go so I can survive.

A few months ago I decided to kill myself. My plan was well thought out and was almost successful. I went to visit my 75 year old uncle. I didn’t go see him because I missed him but because he was on a whole lot of different medications. He is insulin dependent, has high blood pressure, on pain medications, and has thyroid problems. He has a slew of other heath issues but these were the prescriptions I mixed. I overdosed on combination of 67 pills. I have health issues myself because I injected all of this medication into my body. I will explain my own health issues later…

I know because I counted how many pills I swiped before I took them. I went to what I believed to be an excluded park and was able to swallow every last pill. Now I was not sure this would get the job done so I swiped my uncle’s old revolver and put in to my head. I thought I pulled the trigger but that was the last thing I remember.




The winner of the most influential film of all time goes to The Life of David Gale. After seeing this movie it forever changed my life. For those of you who have not seen the film please beware that this will spoil the movie for you.. Sacrifice for the greater good is harder to do then most anything in this world. Capital punishment is a controversial subject matter that people either feel strongly one way or the other. I’m not here to discuss the issue of being for or against the death penalty, I here to discuss the sacrifice of David Gale and Constance Harraway.

Constance Harraway wanted to die because she was already suffering from a form of leukemia that was terminal. She staged her suicide to look like a murder for a cause. She believed in something so deeply that she took her death sentence and turned it into a powerful cause. David Gale wanted to prove that what seems to be true may not. Society is willing to kill a person because all the facts point to a solid case. He wanted to show that there is room for human error and sometimes the consequence of this human error leads to death.

As stated earlier this inspired me. I believe to suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. This disorder is difficult to diagnose and even more difficult to treat. It leads to dire consequences such as alienating everyone in your life and not being able to form any type of relationship. Treatment is extremely expensive and more often then not, not curable. In an essence I have a terminal disease. I can’t hold a job, or have close family members, or friends. I am suffering alone and sometimes violent. I tried to fight my dad a couple of weeks ago and he ended up having to strangle me, almost to death. I didn’t see it that way but that is another part of the disorder. Therefore I’m out of options. I believe that people should fight for what they believe in and I believe that mental illness is as severe as having a disease like cancer. No one looks at it like this but it seems that if people did then there would be less mass shootings and suicides. I really know anyone or have any friends which is why I’m telling you, the people I appreciate reading my blog. 

Therefore tonight at 12:00 am I am going to end my life. This will benefit my loved ones in that they will no longer suffer because of me. I would ask that people take all mental illness as a disorder that needs more than just talking to fix it. There needs to be away to cure it with surgery or medication. If more people understood what causes these disorders and that there must be a part of the brain that functions incorrectly and be fixed. If Steve Jobs can see light years into the future and visualize the I pod, then why can’t someone make it possible to survive mental illness?

Too many people are dying because mental illness is a disease that needs a cure.

I want to thank all of you who read my blogs, have commented, or just clicked the like button. After 12:00 am tonight you can unfollow my blog.

Please take up a donation, go into the research aspect of psychology, or just pay more attention to someone who needs your help. Mental does not equal crazy. Mental equals sick.



What should I do?

Monday morning I was almost killed. I was attacked by my biological father and he almost strangled me to death. I don’t want to disrupt the family environment. I am of age and not a minor but now I can’t even stand to be in the house. I try to lock my door but he continues to knock incessantly and when I don’t answer he opens the door. I would leave but I don’t want to leave my younger siblings in the hours with him.

His wife witnessed the entire ordeal and made him apologize and said things get out of hand and to just move forward.

I’m afraid. I can’t sleep at night since it occurred. He just tries to act like nothing is over. My neck is still sore from it. I would leave but I have no where to go. I guess I’m afraid he will try to finish off the job while I’m sleeping. I don’t trust him.

He has never done anything like this before so maybe I should let it go. I don’t know what to do. Apart of me once to at least file a police report in case something happens to me.

I don’t know how many of you have ever been afraid of someone close but every time I close my eyes I see his elbow across my throat… Every time I swallow I’m reminded of what he has done. What is a girl to do?

Prom Proposal

I just had a conversation with y younger sister about prom proposal.



I had never heard of someone being asked to the prom the way these kids are doing it today.

My sister stated ” I don’t really care about the prom itself….It’s all about the proposal.”

Back when I went to the prom a boy was nervous just to ask a girl to the prom.

Now they have to plan an event!

It’s not acceptable to just ask a girl to the prom..

No no no

You now have to come up with a creative way to pop the question.

Okay all you boys who need ideas to propose to the one and only you desire to take to the prom….

Get ready to step up your game.

Get help from your friends…

Get ready to spend money on flowers, candies, and even puppies!

Get creative and write a poem or perform a song.

Even set up a mob flash proposal…

Forget about saving up for a tux

Do away with the limo service,

dining, corsage, or after party favors!

She won’t remember them.

She will only remember the way you asked her!


Good Luck

Because asking a girl to go to the prom

is the same as

asking a girl to get married!

But hey…

No pressure. 

Killing children on TV

As most have watched last week’s episode of the walking dead, the show killed two young girls. As a fan of the show I have admired the compelling story telling of the experiences of the characters who have to face dire consequences of living through a zombie apocalypse. I respect the show for tackling and addressing what happens when a group has to deal with a mentally disturbed person when the world is all about being in survival mode. When people are not able to get the treatment and medications they need should they be killed?

As a member of the psychology field I was shocked that the only resolution for this girl was to shoot her in the back of the head. This made me wonder about what would happen if their was a natural disaster of some sorts …would people just start picking off one by one the mentally ill? If that is truly the case, then the I suggest that the psychological community needs to  focus on finding a cure for mental illness, not just a way to manage it.

The character Lizzie on the show killed her younger sister. Now some may believe she deserved what she got but their were warning signs that she was troubled. Should they have tried to find a way to help her? I absolutely believe they should have. This depiction made me afraid for what could happen in a real life situation.

Let me pose the question a different way. Are their those of you who would not lose their minds if every time you turned around you had to fight for your life? The circumstances on the walking dead reflected a child who had suffered from a mental illness before hand, had lost two parents, and who everyday had to deal with killing. Is it a wonder her brain was confused? Where was the compassion?  In a life threatening situation the child with a mental disorder became a threat that  needed  to be dealt  with.  Many people are afraid  of  people with serious  mental problems.  I was faced  with a friend  who  threatened my  life with a knife. My friend  suffered  from delusions and was not himself  that  day. I understood that and even though the situation was  frightening  I knew he was having a bad day and it was not his fault.  My  life was in danger  and I could have died  but an mental disorder was the cause of the  threat  not my  friend .

Lizzie did kill her sister  but was it deliberate?

Admittedly I was upset to find out she had murdered her own younger sister. However after discovering that she could not comprehend her actions, I felt more for her. It is the same as the children in school shootings. These kids have a mental problem that should have been caught by someone. Therefore, since Carol undoubtedly knew about Lizzie not being right she should have supervised her more. Why were these children left alone to watch over a baby during a zombie apocalypse?

Adults need to take on more responsibility. Even though the show stunned its fans and boosted ratings. What kind of message does that send? It is an adults responsibility to watch over children. It was Carols duty to watch over both children as she took on that responsibility. The fact is that she went with the quick solution to having to deal with a mentally disabled child is  what is alarming.

There  are a lot of research being conducted to further try to get a handle on making it possible for people with mental disorders to lead healthy and normal lives. What happens when tragedy strikes and talking about feelings and medication no longer works? Researchers need to find a cure for mental disorders and I mean all listed in the DSM.
It’s a shame we  had to watch two young girls get executed on national television but it does prompt awareness that the psychology field is failing….We need a cure, not a band aid.

I know there are thousands of mental disorders out there and that the character Lizzie displayed a sociopathic type of mental disorder but bipolar can lead to suicide and murder. What happens to a person with suffering from OCD? That person could potentially be dangerous as well.

Those that  suffer  from  mental  disorders can  be a threat,  however  does that justify murdering them?

Thank you for listening.

What happens to the parents of killers?

Ever wonder why you never hear from the parents of children who kill?

These parents are the real victims.

They are judged and scrutinized by the world.

They have to come to the realization that the baby they loved has now taken innocent lives for whatever reason.

Their parenting skills are analyzed and crucified.

Do they deserve this?

Is it their fault”

Should they have seen it coming?

Maybe, Maybe not

They do deserve compassion.

Losing an innocent child is painful


What about the parent who faces double tragedy…

The loss of their child and the loss of the child they believed they knew.

Loving children unconditionally can become a nightmare.

But that was once their baby who had their first smile, first word, and first walk as every child does.

I feel for these parents the most….

Because how do you bury the baby that killed?

Ghetto Fabulous Granny

I have a tenant in my house…

The woman is ghetto fabulous.

Now I allow her to split her rent…

She pays have on the 1st and the other half on the 15th.

She never disclosed her daughter who has been in jail


the husband who has the both of them strung out.

The hang out in front of the house…

doing drugs.

I don’t mind smokers but she smokes every hour.

She waits until I fall asleep before she steals food in the middle of the night.

I had to put a lock on the refrigerator door!

She goes through my things when I am not home


asks if I can give her rides and take her to the store.

Last week I told her to stop taking things and that I didn’t feel safe with her daughter and her husband

smoking weed in front of my house.

She threatened me and then let a mouse loose in the house!

She admitted it and said not to cross her again.

Did I mention she is 70 years old!

I do I evict the ghetto fabulous granny ?

But we weren’t married yet!

I have a friend who believes without

a shadow of a doubt, that her husband is her best friend and soul mate.

The fell in love in high school.

She was a virgin and he promised he would wait for her…

until she was ready.

He wined and dined her, comforted her, and made her feel loved

At the same time he cheated on her with two other girls.

He told me…”We weren’t married and it was only sex. She is the love of my life”.

A year later my friend decided to give up her virginity and compromise her morals


“He waited for me and truly loves me. I can’t keep teasing him like this…it isn’t fair…

I love him and he loves me.”

“He stopped having sex for me.”

Meanwhile he kept his sexual relationships with the other women.

10 years after they were married, he got drunk and confessed.

She felt betrayed and his response was….

“But we weren’t married yet.”

“I have never cheated on you since we were married and I never will.”

“At least I finally told you.”

After the confession she said…

“I still love my husband and forgive him…..

I will never be unfaithful to him.”

“By the way….

I had a great time with the guy from work last night.”

They just celebrated their 20th Wedding Anniversary